Tough, tough news for Senator Kennedy yesterday. A malignant brain tumor, and a pretty aggressive type tumor as well. That stinks. Saturday morning he's out walking the dogs on the beach before breakfast, by Saturday afternoon he's been airlifted to Boston and undergoing lots of poking and prodding. Life changes in the blink of an eye.
But who knows that better than Kennedy? The assassinations of his brothers, deaths of his sisters and then both of his children had to battle their own cancer. His Cross must be very heavy.
I am not a big political fan of Sr. Kennedy, but my son and I enjoyed hearing him speak when he introduced Senator Obama in Hartford a couple of months ago. He sure does have an 'air' about him that commands attention. Torrie also thought it was really neat that he was the uncle of Caroline (the song "Sweet Caroline" by Neil Diamond is one of his favorites because it is played at Fenway). So I was sad when I heard the news yesterday. And the passage that I heard Sunday came back to mind: "The Cross is very heavy".
I was driving when I heard a Catholic Priest on the radio answer a question about why there is suffering and why some lives seem to be much more difficult than others. I actually sat in the parking lot and let the car idle because I wanted to hear what his answer would be. He related a story about a woman that had received some kind of medical diagnosis and she was questioning 'why me' and 'why did god let this happen to me? I come to church regularly, pray the Rosary, etc. " He asked her if she were married; "Oh, yes! A beautiful 40 year marriage". Do you have children? "Oh, yes! Two beautiful, successful grown sons". Do you have a home? "Oh, yes! We just finished paying it off, we're set." He said to her "Are you kidding me? You have a marriage, you raised sons, you're financially secure and now you're wondering why you?" He went on to point out the Cross on the wall and said that there are no guarantees that you will always have a 'rosy' life because you are a Christian. In fact, the deeper you walk with Christ the stronger you become to carry the trials and tribulations you may face. We all have Crosses to bear, it is how we carry them that matters. You've trained for the workout - "Why not you?"
I have had back pain as of late. I have been through more Xrays and MRIs in the past few weeks that I can count. Yesterday, I found out that my back pain is not of any cancer origin. I actually giggled with my doctor: "It's been the weight of my Cross that's hurt my back. Finding out that it isn't cancer has lightened the load. I feel better already!" Actually, some physical therapy and a new mattress may really do the trick!
If your back hurts because your Cross is heavy, take comfort in the idea that God will only give you what He knows you can carry, with His help. And if others try to add to your load (which seems to happen - we think we're carrying enough of our own load, then others dump on it too!), tell them to "stay off my Cross, it's heavy enough!"
I'm going to take some Motrin, get a new mattress, say a lot of prayers and marvel at my new found strength, courtesy of my home workout program: Carrying The Cross.
KG
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Friday, May 9, 2008
Nature's Alarm Clock
4:22 a.m.... For the past 3 mornings, that it is exactly the time that I have been woken up by the morning songs of the birds outside. It's been great 'sleeping with the windows partially open' weather - warm during the day then dropping to the low 40's at night. I love to sleep with the windows open and an extra blanket, Ken thinks I'm nuts. One little bird starts off the symphony by calling out to the others. He is a couple of backyards over so his chirping is quite faint. Another bird, with a totally different sound answers from my yard, then a few from across the street chime in. It's really very pretty to listen to once you get past the stage of being totally annoyed that you are wide awake and interpreting bird calls at 4:22 a.m!
So I am up and have an hour until I go to church and thought about writing. I have missed that hour at the computer in the mornings, but I have continued on with my routine of attending daily Mass and so enjoy it. I guess now I can do both! In my next post (I am sure the birds don't take the weekends off), I will share with you some experiences I've had during my morning adventures.
My health remains good - undergoing an MRI this afternoon for some issues with my spine. It's at 3:30, I am looking forward already to the nap! Ken and I are off to a black tie affair tomorrow night - A Night Of Hope - to benefit the American Cancer Society. With the walking I have been doing getting ready for the Relay For Life, I've dropped several pounds, so I am ready to get dressed up and dance!
To all of the Mom's: enjoy your special day this weekend! To everyone else: be extra good to Mom!
KG
So I am up and have an hour until I go to church and thought about writing. I have missed that hour at the computer in the mornings, but I have continued on with my routine of attending daily Mass and so enjoy it. I guess now I can do both! In my next post (I am sure the birds don't take the weekends off), I will share with you some experiences I've had during my morning adventures.
My health remains good - undergoing an MRI this afternoon for some issues with my spine. It's at 3:30, I am looking forward already to the nap! Ken and I are off to a black tie affair tomorrow night - A Night Of Hope - to benefit the American Cancer Society. With the walking I have been doing getting ready for the Relay For Life, I've dropped several pounds, so I am ready to get dressed up and dance!
To all of the Mom's: enjoy your special day this weekend! To everyone else: be extra good to Mom!
KG
Sunday, March 9, 2008
Let's Get Ready To Relay!
It sure feels like it has been a long time since I have written. Actually, it has been. The past few weeks have flown by and I have felt a tugging from my computer to sit down and write. It's good to be back!
It's the fifth Sunday of Lent and a beautiful day as well. Since my last posting, West Hartford has endured two major snowstorms, an ice storm and a lot of rain. Today is quite chilly, but the sun is gorgeous and warm on the face. In a corner near the side entrance of my house that receives a lot of sun, little green stems of my tulips and hyacinth are actually popping up. I mention Lent because it is one of my favorite times of year. A time of spiritual renewal and growth. For the third year in a row, my friend Judy and I have made attending daily Mass a part of our Lenten experience. We meet each other each morning at 6:15 to attend Mass. It is a routine that we both love and a great way to start the day, however 6:15 in the morning is when I usually do my writing - hence the lack of postings!
Since my last post, two more friends of mine have been diagnosed with cancer. Actually, I will say three friends because I feel like I know Patrick Swayze, having loved all of the acting work he has done. That said, I feel that it is important to share with you a project that I am working on: The American Cancer Society's 2008 West Hartford Relay For Life. I am helping on the planning committee to promote the Relay and all of the great work that the ACS does for cancer patients and their families. I am sharing with you the speech that I gave at the Kick Off Party on Feb. 29 to officially begin our Relay efforts. I hope that you will take time to click on the link under "Links I love" at the right of this page and join my team 'Gang Green' or support our efforts. It is such an important cause and one that so many cancer survivors have benefited from.
My name is Kim Green and I am a cancer survivor. A stage 4, metastatic breast cancer survivor, to be exact. I am so happy to be here tonight to talk to you about the Relay For Life. I think I can give you some insight into the life of a cancer survivor and the tremendous impact the Relay and the American Cancer Society can have on a cancer patient.
I was diagnosed in June of 1998 after discovering my own lump while in the shower. I was very diligent about performing monthly self checks because my mother had passed away from cancer - at age 37. I felt a lump that day and thought how odd it was that I hadn't felt it before because it felt quite large. I told myself not to be alarmed - your body can change - after all I was 7 months pregnant. I was also only 34 years old.
I wasted no time getting to the Dr. I asked my ob to feel the lump and assure me that I was just a paranoid pregnant woman. His expression told me that I wasn't paranoid. It was a Friday afternoon and my Dr. got me in as the last patient for a surgeon to see that day. The surgeon aspirated the lump and I waited out the longest weekend of my life. I vacillated between this is nothing, to at one point crawling into my three year old daughters' bed and crying myself to sleep, thinking about my own mother and how afraid she must have been to know that she was going to die and leave her three young daughters without a mother.
The call came on Monday - "Kimberly, you have a malignancy". I would need immediate surgery - I was scheduled for that Thursday.
I have always felt that knowledge is power. We are so lucky to live in an age that information is at our fingertips. I hit the Internet and the first name that came to mind was The American Cancer Society. I pulled up their website and instantly felt some relief. I wasn't alone. There were so many resources available to me: information in the form of written material that would be mailed to me at no charge, people that could answer questions for me over the phone 24 hours a day, online support groups that I could participate in, and support for my family and friends as well.
I had surgery to remove the tumor, but even before all of the pathology reports came back, I went into premature labor. My son Torrie was born 72 hours later after all attempts were made to stall labor. He was small, but very healthy and is now seated right there next to my daughter Tessa and my husband Ken. They are my reason for fighting.
I underwent a bilateral mastectomy, removal of lymph nodes and six months of chemotherapy. It was tough. I lost all of my hair and most of my energy. But then again, the ACS was right there for me. A Reach To Recovery Volunteer contacted me. These are great volunteers that are also cancer survivors. They reach out to newly diagnosed patients and those undergoing treatment to show them the ropes and to help them cope. My volunteer supplied me with a goodie bag of items to aid my recovery: a small pillow to take pressure off of my wounded arm, exercise aids to gain range of motion and volumes of pamphlets to help with eating, nausea and fatigue. They were invaluable materials to me. She was also invaluable because she was able to really identify with me and once again make me feel that I was not alone in this fight.
I recovered well and went on to lead a normal life, taking care of my 2 young kids and of all things training to run a marathon , just to prove to myself that I could. I trained for many months and completed the Walt Disney World marathon in 2001 with Ken and the kids waiting at the finish line. I was feeling so well that I went through the training to become a Reach To Recovery Volunteer myself. The the program I was able to talk to so many women, and hopefully help a few, too.
Then the worst...my cancer had returned, this time invading the lymph nodes in my neck This was devastating to me because I really thought that I had kicked it. Now new,scary words would become part of my vocabulary: metastatic disease, stage 4, pain management. It was a part of the cancer world that I wanted no part of. I didn't want the pain, the fear, the fatigue - heck, I didn't want to lose my hair again! I just wanted to look normal, feel normal, be normal.
Once again, ACS was there for me. My oncology nurse told me about a special evening called 'Look Good, Feel Better' that was going to take place at the cancer center. A group of specially trained volunteers provide their talents to help cancer fighters deal with the ravaging effects that chemotherapy and radiation have on skin and hair. These great people teach cancer patients makeup techniques, scarf tying ideas, skin care for radiated areas and even provide wigs to those who cannot afford one. Skin care and cosmetic companies donate all of the products and makeup artists and hair stylists donate their time and talents. In a very relaxing and positive setting, women are nurtured and are able to have a really good time during the midst of a very difficult time. It is a very popular ACS program and would not be possible without the funds raised from events such as Relay.
Unfortunately, my cancer spread one more time to the lung area and that involved more chemo and radiation, more surgeries and hair loss one more time.
The cancer road is a bumpy one. But it is certainly not a dead end. I have realized that it can actually be made a lot smoother with the help and support of programs and volunteers such as the ones that make up the ACS. The Relay For Life is the signature event that raises awareness and money to make the programs available to cancer patients.
We are here tonight to kick off the planning, organization and fundraising of the West Hartford Relay For Life to be held June 13-14. Each of you that are here tonight are here for very personal reasons. Some of you are here tonight and aren't quite sure why you are here, but know that you want to help. One thing is certain - all of us in some way are affected by cancer in West Hartford. We live in a great town, but that hasn't spared us from this disease. Cancer is rampant in our town. I have spoken to you in the Center at the two stores that I work at. I have heard you speak of yourself, your spouse, your children and your friends that have cancer. I have heard of teachers, local government officials, clergy, medical personnel and business owners that are all engaged in the fight of their lives. We are a prosperous, thriving town, yet this disease is in every corner of it.
What are we supposed to do here tonight? Of course, all of us are here because we want to see a cure for cancer. All of us would like to be a part of the process that makes that happen. Sometimes though, that task can seem so enormous and unattainable that we fall into a position of thinking that our individual effort will not make a difference. But, our individual effort DOES make a difference. Ten years ago when I was diagnosed, 3 of the chemotherapy drugs that I have recently received were not yet available. I have 2 more new drugs now in my arsenal when needed. That is a complete product of fundraising and research. And no one does it better that ACS. Finding a cure for cancer can seem like an enormous goal. Funding a ride for a person to treatment or providing money for a wig can seem easier to accomplish. This Relay is here to provide you the opportunity to do all.
We have an opportunity here in West Hartford to really make a difference. The Relay For Life could become the signature event for our town. Northwest Catholic High School has been so generous to host the Relay. Already businesses in town are donating services, just like Real Art Ways tonight for this facility and The Pond House for the great food and drinks. There is so much work though that we have to do.
Coming from the point of being a person that has lived with and fought cancer for such a long time, I am asking you to step out of your comfort zone - or step out of the box so to speak. Form a team. If you can't form a team - join one. If you can't join a team - offer to support one. My team name is Gang Green and I am actively recruiting new members! If you can't support a team - we would love your help in planning and help on the day of the event. There is a niche for every person, and every ounce of work that is given adds up to our success. And best of all, so many people we know and that are a part of our lives will benefit from your efforts. You, yourself, one day might need the services the ACS provides. Just this week, I received this book from the ACS. They are still fighting for me, that is why I will Relay for them.
My favorite quote is one from Eleanor Roosevelt: We must do the things we think we cannot do. It is so applicable here tonight. We can do anything. Just think, our actions might help to cure cancer.
Ten years ago, on June 8, I found out that I had cancer. To celebrate winning the battle thus far, I am going to walk 10 miles around the track for Relay on June 13. I can't think of a better way of celebrating than spending the evening with a few thousand of my new friends. I hope that you will be there.
Thank you for everything that you are doing and for being here tonight.
God Bless.
KG
It's the fifth Sunday of Lent and a beautiful day as well. Since my last posting, West Hartford has endured two major snowstorms, an ice storm and a lot of rain. Today is quite chilly, but the sun is gorgeous and warm on the face. In a corner near the side entrance of my house that receives a lot of sun, little green stems of my tulips and hyacinth are actually popping up. I mention Lent because it is one of my favorite times of year. A time of spiritual renewal and growth. For the third year in a row, my friend Judy and I have made attending daily Mass a part of our Lenten experience. We meet each other each morning at 6:15 to attend Mass. It is a routine that we both love and a great way to start the day, however 6:15 in the morning is when I usually do my writing - hence the lack of postings!
Since my last post, two more friends of mine have been diagnosed with cancer. Actually, I will say three friends because I feel like I know Patrick Swayze, having loved all of the acting work he has done. That said, I feel that it is important to share with you a project that I am working on: The American Cancer Society's 2008 West Hartford Relay For Life. I am helping on the planning committee to promote the Relay and all of the great work that the ACS does for cancer patients and their families. I am sharing with you the speech that I gave at the Kick Off Party on Feb. 29 to officially begin our Relay efforts. I hope that you will take time to click on the link under "Links I love" at the right of this page and join my team 'Gang Green' or support our efforts. It is such an important cause and one that so many cancer survivors have benefited from.
My name is Kim Green and I am a cancer survivor. A stage 4, metastatic breast cancer survivor, to be exact. I am so happy to be here tonight to talk to you about the Relay For Life. I think I can give you some insight into the life of a cancer survivor and the tremendous impact the Relay and the American Cancer Society can have on a cancer patient.
I was diagnosed in June of 1998 after discovering my own lump while in the shower. I was very diligent about performing monthly self checks because my mother had passed away from cancer - at age 37. I felt a lump that day and thought how odd it was that I hadn't felt it before because it felt quite large. I told myself not to be alarmed - your body can change - after all I was 7 months pregnant. I was also only 34 years old.
I wasted no time getting to the Dr. I asked my ob to feel the lump and assure me that I was just a paranoid pregnant woman. His expression told me that I wasn't paranoid. It was a Friday afternoon and my Dr. got me in as the last patient for a surgeon to see that day. The surgeon aspirated the lump and I waited out the longest weekend of my life. I vacillated between this is nothing, to at one point crawling into my three year old daughters' bed and crying myself to sleep, thinking about my own mother and how afraid she must have been to know that she was going to die and leave her three young daughters without a mother.
The call came on Monday - "Kimberly, you have a malignancy". I would need immediate surgery - I was scheduled for that Thursday.
I have always felt that knowledge is power. We are so lucky to live in an age that information is at our fingertips. I hit the Internet and the first name that came to mind was The American Cancer Society. I pulled up their website and instantly felt some relief. I wasn't alone. There were so many resources available to me: information in the form of written material that would be mailed to me at no charge, people that could answer questions for me over the phone 24 hours a day, online support groups that I could participate in, and support for my family and friends as well.
I had surgery to remove the tumor, but even before all of the pathology reports came back, I went into premature labor. My son Torrie was born 72 hours later after all attempts were made to stall labor. He was small, but very healthy and is now seated right there next to my daughter Tessa and my husband Ken. They are my reason for fighting.
I underwent a bilateral mastectomy, removal of lymph nodes and six months of chemotherapy. It was tough. I lost all of my hair and most of my energy. But then again, the ACS was right there for me. A Reach To Recovery Volunteer contacted me. These are great volunteers that are also cancer survivors. They reach out to newly diagnosed patients and those undergoing treatment to show them the ropes and to help them cope. My volunteer supplied me with a goodie bag of items to aid my recovery: a small pillow to take pressure off of my wounded arm, exercise aids to gain range of motion and volumes of pamphlets to help with eating, nausea and fatigue. They were invaluable materials to me. She was also invaluable because she was able to really identify with me and once again make me feel that I was not alone in this fight.
I recovered well and went on to lead a normal life, taking care of my 2 young kids and of all things training to run a marathon , just to prove to myself that I could. I trained for many months and completed the Walt Disney World marathon in 2001 with Ken and the kids waiting at the finish line. I was feeling so well that I went through the training to become a Reach To Recovery Volunteer myself. The the program I was able to talk to so many women, and hopefully help a few, too.
Then the worst...my cancer had returned, this time invading the lymph nodes in my neck This was devastating to me because I really thought that I had kicked it. Now new,scary words would become part of my vocabulary: metastatic disease, stage 4, pain management. It was a part of the cancer world that I wanted no part of. I didn't want the pain, the fear, the fatigue - heck, I didn't want to lose my hair again! I just wanted to look normal, feel normal, be normal.
Once again, ACS was there for me. My oncology nurse told me about a special evening called 'Look Good, Feel Better' that was going to take place at the cancer center. A group of specially trained volunteers provide their talents to help cancer fighters deal with the ravaging effects that chemotherapy and radiation have on skin and hair. These great people teach cancer patients makeup techniques, scarf tying ideas, skin care for radiated areas and even provide wigs to those who cannot afford one. Skin care and cosmetic companies donate all of the products and makeup artists and hair stylists donate their time and talents. In a very relaxing and positive setting, women are nurtured and are able to have a really good time during the midst of a very difficult time. It is a very popular ACS program and would not be possible without the funds raised from events such as Relay.
Unfortunately, my cancer spread one more time to the lung area and that involved more chemo and radiation, more surgeries and hair loss one more time.
The cancer road is a bumpy one. But it is certainly not a dead end. I have realized that it can actually be made a lot smoother with the help and support of programs and volunteers such as the ones that make up the ACS. The Relay For Life is the signature event that raises awareness and money to make the programs available to cancer patients.
We are here tonight to kick off the planning, organization and fundraising of the West Hartford Relay For Life to be held June 13-14. Each of you that are here tonight are here for very personal reasons. Some of you are here tonight and aren't quite sure why you are here, but know that you want to help. One thing is certain - all of us in some way are affected by cancer in West Hartford. We live in a great town, but that hasn't spared us from this disease. Cancer is rampant in our town. I have spoken to you in the Center at the two stores that I work at. I have heard you speak of yourself, your spouse, your children and your friends that have cancer. I have heard of teachers, local government officials, clergy, medical personnel and business owners that are all engaged in the fight of their lives. We are a prosperous, thriving town, yet this disease is in every corner of it.
What are we supposed to do here tonight? Of course, all of us are here because we want to see a cure for cancer. All of us would like to be a part of the process that makes that happen. Sometimes though, that task can seem so enormous and unattainable that we fall into a position of thinking that our individual effort will not make a difference. But, our individual effort DOES make a difference. Ten years ago when I was diagnosed, 3 of the chemotherapy drugs that I have recently received were not yet available. I have 2 more new drugs now in my arsenal when needed. That is a complete product of fundraising and research. And no one does it better that ACS. Finding a cure for cancer can seem like an enormous goal. Funding a ride for a person to treatment or providing money for a wig can seem easier to accomplish. This Relay is here to provide you the opportunity to do all.
We have an opportunity here in West Hartford to really make a difference. The Relay For Life could become the signature event for our town. Northwest Catholic High School has been so generous to host the Relay. Already businesses in town are donating services, just like Real Art Ways tonight for this facility and The Pond House for the great food and drinks. There is so much work though that we have to do.
Coming from the point of being a person that has lived with and fought cancer for such a long time, I am asking you to step out of your comfort zone - or step out of the box so to speak. Form a team. If you can't form a team - join one. If you can't join a team - offer to support one. My team name is Gang Green and I am actively recruiting new members! If you can't support a team - we would love your help in planning and help on the day of the event. There is a niche for every person, and every ounce of work that is given adds up to our success. And best of all, so many people we know and that are a part of our lives will benefit from your efforts. You, yourself, one day might need the services the ACS provides. Just this week, I received this book from the ACS. They are still fighting for me, that is why I will Relay for them.
My favorite quote is one from Eleanor Roosevelt: We must do the things we think we cannot do. It is so applicable here tonight. We can do anything. Just think, our actions might help to cure cancer.
Ten years ago, on June 8, I found out that I had cancer. To celebrate winning the battle thus far, I am going to walk 10 miles around the track for Relay on June 13. I can't think of a better way of celebrating than spending the evening with a few thousand of my new friends. I hope that you will be there.
Thank you for everything that you are doing and for being here tonight.
God Bless.
KG
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
My Grade On The Tests
It's been over a week since I have posted and what a week it has been! I received the results of my scans on Friday and everything is stable. The only blip is that I have another hernia (this makes six - the last required a piece of mesh placed in my abdomen that was the size of a cookie sheet). I'm off to church then over to talk to Dr. B about the latest development - or protrusion. Will post later about the excitement around my house last week.
KG
KG
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
To Correct...
I am so happy someone is actually reading what I write, and am very humbled that so many are... a couple of things I need to correct: my husband did once attend an Ohio State game (it was more years ago then I have been alive so I didn't think it counted) and on a more serious note, a port feeds into a large vein, not an artery. If you haven't read my posts yet, I bet you are curious now aren't you?!...
Happy reading and thank you -
KG
Happy reading and thank you -
KG
Monday, February 11, 2008
You Can't Study For These Tests!
I had to have tests today at St. Francis. I underwent a MUGA Scan to make sure that my heart is tolerating the Herceptin well and a P.E.T. Scan to make sure that the cancer is not acting up anywhere. I receive the MUGA every three months and the PET every six months. I went to church this morning and was on the road by 7:15 to get started.
The test day itself is never too bad for me. It's the days that lead up to it that can really bother me. I seem to become much more agitated and stressed as the day approaches. Today was marked off on my calendar with the word "Tests". No work today, as I would be gone for the majority of it. Also, nervous energy had me up before 5:00 packing lunches, feeding the pets, etc. All without coffee.
Having done these tests now for many years, I have figured out a few tricks. First, I always have my nurse/angel Judy access my port at the cancer center. For each of these procedures, an IV needs to be started as different contrasts are administered. My veins gave out about the same time as my figure did, shortly after my bilateral mastectomy. My surgeon put in a port, which is a catheter that is laced directly into an artery. The nurses and doctors can access it by feeling for the little bump that protrudes on my chest and sticking it with a small needle. I have had it done so many times there is no feeling left in the skin around the port, so it doesn't hurt too bad. Before I learned that sweet Judy would be happy to access my port before a procedure, I endured many nurses that swore they were the BEST at finding a vein on a difficult arm.
So Judy was kind enough to see me at 7:30 this morning, before her first patient, to get me accessed. Small problem though; the port flushed beautifully, but would not let any blood be drawn back. It's been picky like that before. I'm sure that my blood was just frozen around it because it was something ridiculous like 2 degrees this morning. I flapped my arms and stood on my head and did all of the other things that have worked in the past, with no luck. The day was not starting well and I could feel my anxiety rising. We both hoped that maybe they would only need to push contrast in and not need to take any blood so I marched off to the Nuclear Dept. with the port still accessed.
Nurses in different departments are thrilled when you come in with a port already accessed. It gives them a big jump on their work load. The Nuclear nurse, Kathy, told me she had to draw 2cc. of blood - rats. I thought that by basically jogging across the hospital from department to department, that maybe I had got the bugger unclogged or whatever was going on. No luck. So now she says "No problem, I'm great at finding veins". Oh no. A blown vein below my thumb and an ugly bruise forming on the backside of my arm, was all of her great technique that I could stand. She called in another nurse who added another tourniquet (my arm was now as purple as the shirt I happened to be wearing) and slapped my hand so hard that I really thought she was angry at me. Nothing. Finally, 'Ron' (trumpets blaring) walked up. He moved me to a reclining chair (I must have looked faint by that time), rubbed my hand and proceeded to drive a needle into the vein that went across one of my knuckles. I was glad I was reclined. Success! He thanked me for being still and said he now needed a cup of coffee.
Some radioactive stuff was mixed with my blood and then given back to me. I then was placed in a machine that is very similar to a CT Scan machine where over the course of fifteen minutes, my heart was photographed pumping blood. It's not noisy, nor uncomfortable, so I think I actually dozed for a minute. Kathy, walked me to the front so that I could proceed across the street for my P.E.T Scan.
The P.E.T Scan is an amazing technological test. It is actually able to pick up any new cancer or cancer activity by highlighting "hot spots" of cellular activity to the radiologist. The prep involves nothing to eat or drink 6 hours prior to the scan (it's tricky when your test is at 10:00 or 11:00 in the morning and you last ate at 6:00 the night before) and then having an injection of a nuclear isotope. You must also drink about 16 oz. of a thick chalky substance conveniently labled apple, berry or vanilla. Personally, I choose the vanilla and imagine I am drinking a noncaloric VERY thick milkshake. A nice side effect of the drink, is that it is so thick it actually curbs your hunger pangs from your overnight fast! You are instructed to wait for 30 minutes, Drew Carey kept me entertained on The Price Is Right, then you are escorted to the scan room. At St. Francis, the P.E.T scan machine is actually housed in a semi trailer attached by a covered walkway to the building. Brrr.
Into a long tube you are placed . I was asked to put my arms over my head so that they can clearly see the lung and spine area. The test last about 25 minutes. It, too, is not noisy like an MRI, but does have a humming sound and vibration that certainly keeps you reminded of the scanning that is going on. The most uncomfortable part is keeping your arms over your head - my back started to cramp up and it was a test of wills not to move. If you move too much, they have to start over. Once the test was completed, I was free to go - directly to a Chinese takeout to treat myself to a bowl of Hot and Sour soup.
Now the waiting begins. Another lesson I have learned is to always schedule major tests such as these on a Monday or Tuesday so that results can be reported back in a timely manner. A Friday test can take days to get back as many times the tests are not even sent to be read until the following Monday. They then must be sent to the oncologist, then to you. Ugh. Having been a patient for 10 years, I have learned to not go too crazy until about 72 hours of not hearing anything. Dr. B. is wonderful about trying to curb my anxiety and I have no doubt I will receive the results before Wednesday.
I have a feeling of calm tonight. I stopped back at the church this afternoon and had a lovely chat with Fr. Sas. He quoted to me one of my favorite verses from the Bible - Exodus 14:14 - "The Lord will fight for you, you have only to remain still".
I am back to the normal routine of making dinner, homework and baths. Such a transition from the craziness and intensity of the morning. But that is what the life of a person fighting cancer is... crazy and intense with wonderful moments of normal routine life. Tonight when I go to bed though, I am sure I will remain very still while I let the Lord fight for me.
KG
The test day itself is never too bad for me. It's the days that lead up to it that can really bother me. I seem to become much more agitated and stressed as the day approaches. Today was marked off on my calendar with the word "Tests". No work today, as I would be gone for the majority of it. Also, nervous energy had me up before 5:00 packing lunches, feeding the pets, etc. All without coffee.
Having done these tests now for many years, I have figured out a few tricks. First, I always have my nurse/angel Judy access my port at the cancer center. For each of these procedures, an IV needs to be started as different contrasts are administered. My veins gave out about the same time as my figure did, shortly after my bilateral mastectomy. My surgeon put in a port, which is a catheter that is laced directly into an artery. The nurses and doctors can access it by feeling for the little bump that protrudes on my chest and sticking it with a small needle. I have had it done so many times there is no feeling left in the skin around the port, so it doesn't hurt too bad. Before I learned that sweet Judy would be happy to access my port before a procedure, I endured many nurses that swore they were the BEST at finding a vein on a difficult arm.
So Judy was kind enough to see me at 7:30 this morning, before her first patient, to get me accessed. Small problem though; the port flushed beautifully, but would not let any blood be drawn back. It's been picky like that before. I'm sure that my blood was just frozen around it because it was something ridiculous like 2 degrees this morning. I flapped my arms and stood on my head and did all of the other things that have worked in the past, with no luck. The day was not starting well and I could feel my anxiety rising. We both hoped that maybe they would only need to push contrast in and not need to take any blood so I marched off to the Nuclear Dept. with the port still accessed.
Nurses in different departments are thrilled when you come in with a port already accessed. It gives them a big jump on their work load. The Nuclear nurse, Kathy, told me she had to draw 2cc. of blood - rats. I thought that by basically jogging across the hospital from department to department, that maybe I had got the bugger unclogged or whatever was going on. No luck. So now she says "No problem, I'm great at finding veins". Oh no. A blown vein below my thumb and an ugly bruise forming on the backside of my arm, was all of her great technique that I could stand. She called in another nurse who added another tourniquet (my arm was now as purple as the shirt I happened to be wearing) and slapped my hand so hard that I really thought she was angry at me. Nothing. Finally, 'Ron' (trumpets blaring) walked up. He moved me to a reclining chair (I must have looked faint by that time), rubbed my hand and proceeded to drive a needle into the vein that went across one of my knuckles. I was glad I was reclined. Success! He thanked me for being still and said he now needed a cup of coffee.
Some radioactive stuff was mixed with my blood and then given back to me. I then was placed in a machine that is very similar to a CT Scan machine where over the course of fifteen minutes, my heart was photographed pumping blood. It's not noisy, nor uncomfortable, so I think I actually dozed for a minute. Kathy, walked me to the front so that I could proceed across the street for my P.E.T Scan.
The P.E.T Scan is an amazing technological test. It is actually able to pick up any new cancer or cancer activity by highlighting "hot spots" of cellular activity to the radiologist. The prep involves nothing to eat or drink 6 hours prior to the scan (it's tricky when your test is at 10:00 or 11:00 in the morning and you last ate at 6:00 the night before) and then having an injection of a nuclear isotope. You must also drink about 16 oz. of a thick chalky substance conveniently labled apple, berry or vanilla. Personally, I choose the vanilla and imagine I am drinking a noncaloric VERY thick milkshake. A nice side effect of the drink, is that it is so thick it actually curbs your hunger pangs from your overnight fast! You are instructed to wait for 30 minutes, Drew Carey kept me entertained on The Price Is Right, then you are escorted to the scan room. At St. Francis, the P.E.T scan machine is actually housed in a semi trailer attached by a covered walkway to the building. Brrr.
Into a long tube you are placed . I was asked to put my arms over my head so that they can clearly see the lung and spine area. The test last about 25 minutes. It, too, is not noisy like an MRI, but does have a humming sound and vibration that certainly keeps you reminded of the scanning that is going on. The most uncomfortable part is keeping your arms over your head - my back started to cramp up and it was a test of wills not to move. If you move too much, they have to start over. Once the test was completed, I was free to go - directly to a Chinese takeout to treat myself to a bowl of Hot and Sour soup.
Now the waiting begins. Another lesson I have learned is to always schedule major tests such as these on a Monday or Tuesday so that results can be reported back in a timely manner. A Friday test can take days to get back as many times the tests are not even sent to be read until the following Monday. They then must be sent to the oncologist, then to you. Ugh. Having been a patient for 10 years, I have learned to not go too crazy until about 72 hours of not hearing anything. Dr. B. is wonderful about trying to curb my anxiety and I have no doubt I will receive the results before Wednesday.
I have a feeling of calm tonight. I stopped back at the church this afternoon and had a lovely chat with Fr. Sas. He quoted to me one of my favorite verses from the Bible - Exodus 14:14 - "The Lord will fight for you, you have only to remain still".
I am back to the normal routine of making dinner, homework and baths. Such a transition from the craziness and intensity of the morning. But that is what the life of a person fighting cancer is... crazy and intense with wonderful moments of normal routine life. Tonight when I go to bed though, I am sure I will remain very still while I let the Lord fight for me.
KG
Monday, February 4, 2008
Thank you, Giants
The New York Giants upset the New England Patriots to win Super Bowl XLII. I can't remember what the final score was, but it doesn't matter. New York has made it possible for my son Torrie to be a relatively happy camper (or Giant) this week.
Torrie is a very intense sports fan for only being nine years old. He is passionate about his teams (he has a lot) and is equally passionate about the sport being played (he loves them all). He has inherited this quality from Ken, who can find enjoyment in any type of competition on television, in person, in the newspaper or being recalled by another sports devotee. Two years ago, Ken and Torrie went on a 'sports weekend' roadtrip to Ohio. They made the 10 hour drive to arrive for kickoff of Ken's high school football game. The next day was off to see Ohio State play (the first time for Ken) - Torrie was sure that ESPN was broadcasting live there just because he and Ken had come. The next day they were able to go to the Cleveland Browns game. Monday they visited the Football Hall of Fame, and Tuesday was the icing with great seats at a Cleveland Indian's game, where Ken caught a foul ball during batting practice. Other than working at a toy store, I will never be able to achieve the status in Torrie's eyes as Ken did that weekend.
I was nervous going into this weekend. Torrie had a basketball game to play in and the other team was tough (they won). Then Ken broke the news that he has an extended business trip this week which will keep him away until Thursday. Torrie really misses Ken when he is gone. We had a little bit of rivalry in the house, as I was pulling for the Patriots. Torrie and Ken went down the street to a Super Bowl Party while Tessa and I curled up in front of a fire. Torrie called twice with updates just in case I had missed some great Giant plays. The pressure was building...
Thank you Giants. He is up, dressed and has a smile on his face. Signing Bonuses, Super Bowl Rings, parades - the most important reason for the win in my house just sat down for breakfast.
KG
Torrie is a very intense sports fan for only being nine years old. He is passionate about his teams (he has a lot) and is equally passionate about the sport being played (he loves them all). He has inherited this quality from Ken, who can find enjoyment in any type of competition on television, in person, in the newspaper or being recalled by another sports devotee. Two years ago, Ken and Torrie went on a 'sports weekend' roadtrip to Ohio. They made the 10 hour drive to arrive for kickoff of Ken's high school football game. The next day was off to see Ohio State play (the first time for Ken) - Torrie was sure that ESPN was broadcasting live there just because he and Ken had come. The next day they were able to go to the Cleveland Browns game. Monday they visited the Football Hall of Fame, and Tuesday was the icing with great seats at a Cleveland Indian's game, where Ken caught a foul ball during batting practice. Other than working at a toy store, I will never be able to achieve the status in Torrie's eyes as Ken did that weekend.
I was nervous going into this weekend. Torrie had a basketball game to play in and the other team was tough (they won). Then Ken broke the news that he has an extended business trip this week which will keep him away until Thursday. Torrie really misses Ken when he is gone. We had a little bit of rivalry in the house, as I was pulling for the Patriots. Torrie and Ken went down the street to a Super Bowl Party while Tessa and I curled up in front of a fire. Torrie called twice with updates just in case I had missed some great Giant plays. The pressure was building...
Thank you Giants. He is up, dressed and has a smile on his face. Signing Bonuses, Super Bowl Rings, parades - the most important reason for the win in my house just sat down for breakfast.
KG
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