Sunday, October 11, 2015

Ken.

Today is the first time in the two weeks that I have been home from the hospital, that I am up before my husband, Ken. To me, it is a sure sign of healing, that I am waking on my own after a good nights' rest. I have always been an early bird; I love getting up before everyone (including Brutus and Bella), greeting the day and doing my morning prayers. It has been a routine that I have kept for years. Since I have been home though, Ken has been the early bird.

Actually, Ken has been the early bird for the past couple of months. He is up with Torrie, packing their lunches, and sending Torrie off with a fist bump that carries the meaning 'I love you, I'll miss you, Have a great day, See you tonight' all without saying anything. They are both men of few words first thing in the morning, unlike me!

Bella and Brutus are next. They sleep burrowed in covers in a crate next to our bed. They patiently doze until it is their time to get up. Ken opens the door and they

race to the top of the steps. We don't allow the dogs to go up and down the stairs because of risk of injury to their backs. Normally, I would just scoop them up and head down the stairs. Ken has a much different method and I almost ruptured another hernia laughing watching him one morning. He sits on the top of the staircase and calls the pups. Each dog runs to either side of him under his arm, and he scoops them up like little footballs! They go outside and then he prepares their breakfast. Once they are settled and watching chipmunks through the glass door, he takes care of our two cats; feeding, cleaning litter, etc. We have quite the farm!

I have done these jobs everyday for the past 20 years, other than when I have been in the hospital. Ken has willingly and without comment stepped right into the job. And he has allowed me to sleep...and heal.

As many couples do, after twenty years of marriage, raising kids, activities, pets, traveling, illness, etc., Ken and I had fallen into a pattern, or rut as I would rather call it. Limited conversation about things that needed to be taken care of, mindless small talk "how was your trip" 'It was good" "Great", blah blah blah. Sometimes hardly noticing each other as we passed through our days and nights. A couple of times, I caught myself thinking, "What happens when Torrie leaves next year? What will we talk about ?" Often my prayers centered around those fears while I laid in bed at night alone while Ken traveled.

Be careful what you pray for...it just might happen.

When I went in for surgery on August 5, Ken was at my side. As he should be of course, but there were many surgeries in the past, that I faced alone because Ken was with our young children. It was always at my insistence, "be with the kids, I can handle this". But our kids are so much older now, that allowed Ken to be with me. I awoke to his face. He had gotten my room prepared with my lamp and diffuser filled with essential oils. He took a hospitality suite and spent the night. He left reluctantly in the evenings and was there most mornings by 9:30 a.m. even with an hour commute.
He did this for nine days. Finally, I came home after the initial surgery. I now had a visiting nurse and he could breathe a little. Not for long though, within 48 hours I was back in the hospital beginning my horrible fight with HA-MRSA. For the next two months, Ken was at my side every single day, except for the one day that he visited Tessa at Villanova. Countless hours in the car, parking garage fees to break the bank, on top of everything he was doing at home (he has not missed one of Torrie's games, plus helping with college Common App, school searches, etc.), and unfortunately, missing work and big opportunities to be on the road.

He chose me. Again. How amazing is that?

At a time, when we were often living a life of glorified roommates, the GIFT of being hospitalized and seeing the true love and devotion this man has for me, was worth every moment of being sick.
The talks that we had, the hopes that we shared, the love that was palpable to nurses and doctors, all reignited the flame inside us that never went out. I saw in Ken traits of strength, selflessness, drive, motivation and hope that I had not seen before. We rediscovered each other, in room 236 at Yale.

And so my amazing husband sleeps in on this gorgeous Sunday morning. I am doing what I love, writing and having coffee in the quiet. Today brings some chores around the house that I would normally do alone, but today we will do together.

How wonderful...thank you, God.

Peace.
Kim

5 comments:

Unknown said...

Thank you Kim

beth said...

Thank you for sharing your life story.
I am moved by your words.

Unknown said...

Beautiful, Kim. Thank you!!

Unknown said...

Your writings are an inspiration to us all. Thanks for sharing your faith and love of life with us!

God bless you and all your lovely family!

Our Future Abroad said...

Kim, it's very obvious that the love you and Ken have for each other is a true blessing. That is worth more than anything palpable on earth! May God always bless you and your family!