From early evening Friday night until late this afternoon, I sat on my little zafu and was gently led through wonderful meditation practices focused upon love, kindness and compassion. A door to a beautiful world of peace and calm was opened for me and I most willingly walked through it. A weekend I will never forget...
Spending my weekend this way was not how I originally envisioned it. You see, I only have three weekends left before my surgery. This weekend was to be filled with painting (I decided to expose the wood under the carpet on our staircase this week) the backs of the staircase, heavy baseboard cleaning and mulching. Yes, we still have mulch! I am beginning to think the pile is growing rather than shrinking!
I have a very organized list of all of the big tasks that I need to complete before surgery on Aug. 5. Tasks that I will not be able to do in the months immediately after surgery; tasks that I may not be able to do again, period.
But God has a way of rearranging my schedules and lists. Through a new and dear friend, I was informed of this unique opportunity, and very much unlike my usual self, I dropped everything and went. It is so cool that on Saturday morning, one of my readings was about hearing God's Word in unconventional manners and through others. Once again, I felt the assurance that God has me in his palm and is giving me every tool possible to reamin calm and peaceful through the journey that I am getting ready to embark on.
In 23 days, I'll check into Yale and have my PIC line inserted. At the crack of dawn, the next morning, the surgeons will make the first of many large incisions to remove the infected mesh and all of the surrounding tissue and muscle. They will then repair each of the five hernias in my abdomen using tissue from another source. Finally, a new abdominal wall will be basically rebuilt from fascia and muscle from my thighs. An enormous surgery, with way too many opportunities for complications. So, the countdown has begun...
I am so grateful that God has rearranged my to do list. "Let's put finding ways to relieve pain and stress and promote healing and love, ahead of mulch."
3 comments:
I very much enjoyed reading of your Journey and I will be praying for you along the way.. You are truly inspiring! Love Michele
You are an inspiration! God will, once again, get you through this difficult time in your life and journey. You have been through so much in the last 17 year journey. The bumps, turns, and forks in the road have been numerous. And yet, here you are. Victorious thus far and will be again. You are a true "survivor." And not just in pink! My co-worker went through breast cancer and I told her of your life beyond breast cancer and it gave her hope. She is back at work and doing fine. She knows her journey may or may not be over, but knowing that you had continued to fight and face the challenges provides her with the courage to fight on. We will say prayers, lots of them, for a successful surgery and a strong recovery. Know you are loved and our prayer groups are strong. God, family, and friends will get you through this next stage of your journey.
I love you so much! You may be my cousin, but you are the closest thing to a sister (or real sibling) that I ever could have. If you need anything beyond prayers, please do not hesitate to ask.
Thank you, Mary Anne... that means the world to me.
Post a Comment